Beautiful Vieques PR

Beautiful Vieques PR

Monday, March 7, 2011

Behind the Mask





















For One Stop Poetry - A Triolet


What lies behind the lovely mask you wear?

You're broken, torn asunder, filled with pain?

You're angry? Are you lonely...do you care?

What lies behind the lovely mask you wear?

You bear a heavy burden you can't share?

In chains of thought you're bound where madness reigns..

What lies behind the lovely mask you wear?

You're broken, torn asunder, filled with pain.....



G.K.Bostic






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13 comments:

  1. knot eyeMarch 7, 2011 at 6:29 AM

    morning Gloria...if I am correct, I hear a count of 11 in your lines (except L1)...I just did my first, so I am not sure if it matters

    Peace, hp

    thank you for stopping by

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  2. Uma AnandaneMarch 7, 2011 at 7:41 AM

    Good questions asked? Behind mask...no one can guess...we all have mask's wearing them then and there

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  3. Brian MillerMarch 7, 2011 at 8:02 AM

    nicely played..we all wear them dont we...at times...it takes great discipline to live with them off...

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  4. Kerry O'ConnorMarch 7, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    The repeated questions seem to increase in urgency as the poem unfolds. Great work, Gloria.

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  5. MontyMarch 7, 2011 at 8:38 AM

    whoa! nice. no. I mean like really nice. everything's write on and flows so much better than any pentameter I try. great work! shakespeare would be proud of your iambic pentameter :)

    Monty / bummy

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  6. signed...bkmMarch 7, 2011 at 8:55 AM

    very well done...and the questioning leaves many a question in the heart...nice work...bkm

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  7. AnonymousMarch 7, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    Really great refrains and an age ol question Gloria! Tips on form from me, you've written in iambic pentameter so 5 stresses to each line, refrain B has 11 and doesn't fall on The DUM rhythm, a small tweak would be (and this is my own take) is just drop the are...You broken torn asunder or in pain? This would fit the flow perfectly and you would have a great Triolet written in iambic pentameter. Amazing job Gloria, I hope that the critique helps x

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  8. MarshyMarch 7, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    another enjoyable read...the poem told a great tale and left one thinking....thanks for sharing pete

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  9. JL DodgeMarch 7, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    I really like this one, you did the form justice !

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  10. RMPMarch 7, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    this definitely struck a cord with me...i thought you were speaking directly to me...

    lovely feel and flow.

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  11. R. Renee VickersMarch 7, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    Beautiful work Gloria, so full of sorry and knowing.

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  12. Madeleine Begun KaneMarch 8, 2011 at 2:22 AM

    Beautiful and moving.
    Mad Kane

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  13. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    What a wonderful piece of poetry you have here. I really enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme, the flow and the sense of intuitive indwelling sight....I have been here before and do relate. Thanks for an enjoyable read, Gloria.

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