Beautiful Vieques PR

Beautiful Vieques PR

Monday, March 7, 2011

Behind the Mask





















For One Stop Poetry - A Triolet


What lies behind the lovely mask you wear?

You're broken, torn asunder, filled with pain?

You're angry? Are you lonely...do you care?

What lies behind the lovely mask you wear?

You bear a heavy burden you can't share?

In chains of thought you're bound where madness reigns..

What lies behind the lovely mask you wear?

You're broken, torn asunder, filled with pain.....



G.K.Bostic






13 comments:

  1. morning Gloria...if I am correct, I hear a count of 11 in your lines (except L1)...I just did my first, so I am not sure if it matters

    Peace, hp

    thank you for stopping by

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good questions asked? Behind mask...no one can guess...we all have mask's wearing them then and there

    ReplyDelete
  3. nicely played..we all wear them dont we...at times...it takes great discipline to live with them off...

    ReplyDelete
  4. The repeated questions seem to increase in urgency as the poem unfolds. Great work, Gloria.

    ReplyDelete
  5. whoa! nice. no. I mean like really nice. everything's write on and flows so much better than any pentameter I try. great work! shakespeare would be proud of your iambic pentameter :)

    Monty / bummy

    ReplyDelete
  6. very well done...and the questioning leaves many a question in the heart...nice work...bkm

    ReplyDelete
  7. Really great refrains and an age ol question Gloria! Tips on form from me, you've written in iambic pentameter so 5 stresses to each line, refrain B has 11 and doesn't fall on The DUM rhythm, a small tweak would be (and this is my own take) is just drop the are...You broken torn asunder or in pain? This would fit the flow perfectly and you would have a great Triolet written in iambic pentameter. Amazing job Gloria, I hope that the critique helps x

    ReplyDelete
  8. another enjoyable read...the poem told a great tale and left one thinking....thanks for sharing pete

    ReplyDelete
  9. I really like this one, you did the form justice !

    ReplyDelete
  10. this definitely struck a cord with me...i thought you were speaking directly to me...

    lovely feel and flow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Beautiful work Gloria, so full of sorry and knowing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a wonderful piece of poetry you have here. I really enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme, the flow and the sense of intuitive indwelling sight....I have been here before and do relate. Thanks for an enjoyable read, Gloria.

    ReplyDelete